Bad Haircut

Okay, so I’m not Sampson or anything, nor am I especially vain (most days), but I have a new and hideous haircut and it’s killing me.

It was on a whim, yesterday, that I pulled into the grocery store parking lot with my almost 17-year-old daughter who has been having a rough couple of weeks. Ahead of us we saw a sign for SuperCuts and she said, “I’ve been thinking of getting my hair cut.”

“Me, too,” I said, “Let’s go in.”

My hair has been long and boring for a while now, and I thought, what-the-hey, let’s shake things up. And I found a great style–short but sexy–and I took it over to the stylist.

“Have you ever had short hair before?” she asked, with a quiver in her voice. That should have been my first sign of dangerous waters ahead, but once I commit to something, I commit all the way (even if the current has picked up to “ripping” and there’s a mist hanging over the water ahead).

Gad, she took so long. More than an hour. You would think that taking your time would be a good thing for a haircut. But each section she picked up and measured so carefully, apologizing if one small piece eluded her scissors and then starting the whole laborious process over again. Finally I just wanted her to be done. Once we hit an hour, I didn’t even care what it looked like, I just wanted out of the damned chair!

She was nice, but she was tentative, and my hair is all wrong. Nothing at all like the picture. I even kind of know what needs to be done (I’m a pretty good hair cutter myself) but I can’t do it to my own hair. It’s really a sad, sad sight though. And since my house used to belong to Kim Alexis (’80s supermodel) there’s no shortage of mirros around to remind me of my folly.

Ah, at least there’s time. Time heals all bad haircuts. In the meantime, it’s winter, so hats are in.






8 responses to “Bad Haircut”

  1. Myfanwy Collins Avatar

    Oh Mary! Sincere sympathies! I am very careful about my haircuts after suffering through a really, REALLY, REALLY bad one in the early 90s (when my hair was already ugly–couldn’t believe it could get worse and yet it did).

    Time heals all wounds (and all haircuts).

  2. Stephanie Avatar

    I too have had a really ugly hair cut in the early 90s. And I also go to Supercuts. Wait, no, I go to Fantastic Sams.

    In any case, you might consider having it cut again. It’s not vain. It will make you happier and more productive.

  3. Mary Akers Avatar

    Thanks. Few things more humbling than a bad haircut, eh? And it’s a great test of one’s creativity. How to make something from nothing…After this morning’s shower I did the gel thing and it looks sort of punk, with funky earrings and a little black eyeliner. Maybe it’s the new me.

  4. katrina Avatar

    Mary! You could wear any kind of hair–you have such a beautiful face! I can empathize with you–I once got a very bad haircut two weeks before my first wedding!

  5. Linera Lucas Avatar

    Oh yeah. We’ve all been there. It isn’t vanity to want to look your best. Go to a good stylist and let her work magic. You deserve it.

    I know when I’m not happy with my hair, because I start looking at cosmetics, trying to imagine that eyeshadow and blush will fix the shambles on my noggin.

  6. Sonya Avatar

    I have had $5.00 bad haircuts and $50 bad haircuts. About three years ago I accepted the fact that my hair looks it’s best in my tried and true 1978 Farrah meets Victoria Principle feathered do.

    I fight each and every stylist who wishes to bring me current. There is something oddly freeing about reaching 40 and being stuck in one’s ways.

    I think I am going to enjoy middle age!

  7. Jeanne Rhea Avatar

    I sure empathize! I know this post was a long time ago, but just have to comment. I had the same hairdresser in Alaska fr nearly twenty years. I loved the way he cut my hair. I moved back south and though I had never had a good haircut in the past ten years! I blamed it all on the hairdresser. Truth is, only one haircut in the past ten years was hideous—my husband nearly passed out when he saw me and when I suggested I go back and have her recut it, he dragged me from the salon vowing she would never touch my hair again. But, I digress. The reason I had such good hair in Alaska was not due to the cut. It was due to the lack of humidity and my hair behaved. In the south, I rarely have a good hair day. Maybe I have had a good hair day once a year for the past ten years!

  8. Anonymous Avatar

    Mary, you look wonderful with long hair!!! Why women past 40 go for short hair, I’ll never understand. I’m happy for you that yours has grown back. A Guy

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