Mensa Invitational winners


The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asks readers to take a word from the dictionary, alter it (by adding, subtracting, or changing a letter), and then supply a new definition.

This year’s winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until

you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little

sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of

getting laid.

5. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject

financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the

person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes,

right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after

you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into

your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in

the fruit you’re eating.

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.